Real Talk
On Real Talk, Carrie and Grace will help you get Inspired, find your direction, and navigate your goals until they become reality.
Real Talk
The Freedom Beyond Offense: Breaking Down Emotional Fences
Ever wonder what it would be like to live without taking offense? To have the freedom to grow beyond hurt feelings and misunderstandings? In our candid conversation about becoming "unoffendable," we dive into one of life's most challenging personal skills.
When asked what word she would like to embody, Carrie chose "unoffendable" - not because she's mastered it, but because she recognizes how taking offense creates a self-imposed prison. "It's like there's a fence around you," she explains, "and you're just not allowing yourself to grow." Grace brings her perspective from the real estate industry, where complex interpersonal dynamics regularly create opportunities for hurt feelings, betrayal, and offense.
The conversation takes a vulnerable turn as we share our different approaches to handling potential offense. Grace tends to analyze situations more logically, especially in professional contexts, while Carrie admits she sometimes takes things personally when her intentions are genuine. We both confess our struggle when friends choose other realtors despite our close relationships - that particular sting that comes when trust seems broken.
But the heart of our message is transformative: what matters most isn't what happens to us but how we respond. "It's a growing opportunity," Carrie emphasizes. "What can I learn from this? What can I do to grow and become unoffendable?" While we acknowledge this quality is a work in progress, we believe it's achievable with intention and faith.
Ready to join the conversation? Visit CarrieandGrace.com to register for a chance to win a free monthly lunch (no strings attached!) and share topics you'd like us to discuss in future episodes. When you choose to be unoffendable, you're choosing freedom - and we'd love to hear about your journey.
Welcome to Real Talk. If you're looking to be inspired to find your direction or just need help navigating your goals until they become reality, you've come to the right place. So pull up a chair and get ready to buckle up for an up-close and personal ride with your hosts, keri and Grace.
Speaker 3:Hey guys Carrie and Grace.
Speaker 2:But today we're going to jump right into it and the topic we're going to talk about is being unoffendable. Ouch, so I was telling Grace before we got on here. The reason why I wanted to kind of do the subject is because I was on a walk with. I have like a walking group in the morning and every morning we get together and one of the ladies is super encouraging and she's like if you had one word, you know that, could you know, look like you, like what would that word be? And I said, well, it doesn't look like me yet, but I would like my name to be unoffendable. I would like to speak that out. I'm unoffendable. I cannot be offended because, honestly, just being offended is just putting yourself in kind of a prison, like there's a fence around you and you're just not allowing yourself to grow. So that is kind of what I how we came across this subject, because it's difficult to not take things personal, especially when it seems personal, but I have learned along the way that it doesn't do anything but waste time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know that, first of all, what you guys did today, I don't even know what word I would have picked for myself, but unoffendable is a really good one and it's very difficult. You know, my husband and I were talking recently and he was like cause there's things in real estate that come up that every deal is different, right? So things come up, naturally, that sometimes go sideways, sometimes goes a little bit crooked and not necessarily as smoothly as you want, and at the end there's a chance for hurt feelings and even being betrayed sometimes. I know that sounds so dramatic, but he said to me recently in a nutshell, he was like why do you think this happens?
Speaker 3:Why do you even work in an industry where I'm basically subjecting myself to these types of things? And of course, there's no real answer to that. But his point that he was getting at is you need to become better than that. You can't get into a place where you are so offended that in your memory you think about so-and-so and so-and-so and this deal and that deal, and you have a bitter feeling toward it, right. And I thought to myself I think I do a pretty good job about not being offended, but I'm I don't know how good of a job am I really doing?
Speaker 2:You're way better at it than.
Speaker 3:I am Sure.
Speaker 2:Or I at least, say something out loud a lot more than you do. So you don't. You don't put life to it. I put life to it sometimes and I lose sleep over that. Like how ridiculous am I going to allow somebody else their opinion about us or just any scenario that hurt our feelings and have it waste my time, like my peace is gone, um so, and have it waste my time? My peace is gone. So yeah, I think you're better at it. I think you forgive a lot easier than I do.
Speaker 3:Well, I think this might be the difference. Tell me if this thought's just coming to me. So tell me if you agree or not. But I'm more. I don't know if pragmatic is the right word, but maybe logical about it, I think, because I look at it more about a professional thing. Okay, you say that you trust me in our friendship. You say that you, you know this, that and the other thing about me. But when we're working together, are you really trusting me? If this happened, I don't think you're really reflecting trust. And so I look at it more like a work thing, like did I not do my job properly? What, what, what should I not do next time? Or that kind of thing, whereas you take it correct me if I'm wrong more like you hurt my feelings, like cause, cause it is personal, cause, this is what we do.
Speaker 2:Well, especially if, like your heart is good, like you actually, I literally love our clients and so it's hard, like when you actually truly love them.
Speaker 2:But I feel like I think the one thing that makes me the most mad and has offended me the most if I want to be super vulnerable is when somebody we know doesn't use us for real estate. It literally drives me insane and it's happened a few times where they chose somebody else, and not even anybody that we know or anything, and then we're like wait, I thought we had a friendship, like I thought you enjoyed me, and so I hate that. And it's happened to her a couple times more recently. It's difficult, it's difficult.
Speaker 3:But I will tell you that I believe this too. There are so many realtors out there and there's so many other relationships that people have it's not just with me so I understand when someone does choose another realtor. I don't love that, but I mean I get it, so I don't overly get mad at that. What I do, what I have gotten hurt with in the past, is when someone, one person in particular, was taught, just always talked about how she looked up to me and how, what a great friend I was and how she depended on me and trusted me and she always wanted to come to me for advice and so on and so forth. And then they used a complete stranger as their realtor and I was like so are you? You don't feel those things toward me? Like I don't understand. So that's confusing. But yeah, there's a lot of things that come up.
Speaker 2:I think what we need to do, just in general, is learn from these things, cause I think when people do that, it's not about what they're saying, it's about how are we going to respond to it. I think our response is so important, like we we're. It's a growing opportunity for us. In every scenario that we get hurt in or something happens. What do we need to do? To, first of all, don't let it affect us like that and to make us better, like I want to be better. So, if I can use that opportunity to say you know what? What can I learn from this and what can I do to grow and become unoffendable? Because, honestly, I want that to be my word. I want to put it on a t-shirt and be like yep, that's me, I'm unoffendable, and I'm not quite there yet, but I am working on it.
Speaker 3:Well, I think it is a work in progress, but for sure it's something that we should be able to overcome. We have the ability to do it.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Plus we have God anyways. We won't ramble on and on, but it's nice to come back. Yeah, I think we are.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:I don't know, maybe not. It was nice to come back today and just kind of share some of our thoughts with you.
Speaker 3:We're. We're going to be doing this on a regular basis. We have an amazing team that's pushing us to do better. I do wonder this what are some of the things that other people are offended by?
Speaker 2:Maybe they can, um, oh, ask us on our website. We'll come up with a place that where they can ask us or what subjects that they have been offended by, so we can talk about those things. We do have a website and we would like you guys to go on the website because we are going to give out a free lunch every month and if you go on and register, we will have your back, We'll draw a name and we'll take you to lunch.
Speaker 2:And there's no strings attached. You don't even have to use us as realtors.
Speaker 3:Is it on here, keri? It's KeriandGracecom. Yep, easy peasy, yep, all right, good seeing you guys Bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Real Talk Podcast. If we've inspired you today, please be sure to drop us a line or visit us on the web at wwwKeriandGracecom. Also, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. That helps others find the show and we greatly appreciate it. Once again, thanks for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.